He is such a slut. More and more my type.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
