I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
third nipple confirmed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
