They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
