roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
