Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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