I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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