i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
