She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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