Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
