where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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