It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she told me i tasted like america
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
