i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
