I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
