New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
