How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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