I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
