i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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