I need help removing her.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
