I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
