Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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