planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
