Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
