Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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