i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
