My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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