when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
