I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
