It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How external is "for external use only"?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
