Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
