Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
