I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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