Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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