I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
