If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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