I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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