i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
