You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
