It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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