i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize