So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
