y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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