fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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