nut hugger
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
