Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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