you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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