I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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