It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
