Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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