Sry I called you an 8
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
