what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
