I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
