sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
