Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize