I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
