I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
worst night to have a conscience
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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