sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
