Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
