East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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