dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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