hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am spending my child support on dildos
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
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